I want to look sexy (:

ya need start off school project ,haven even really start doing it lo,
i have been less motivated nowadays now, not been attending training for quite 1 month already,
ya i guess my team mates mus have wonder wad happen to me, or why am i backing out ,
i m really burnout i really need a good time rest, not that i m quiting as i lost interest in it,
i will never give up on martial art as it is something i do which i will feel really me when i doing it,
it is also something which keep me motivated in life, i can take all those torturing hard blow from training has already proven that im one class above average person, by saying this i m not trying to say how good or trying to show off but that's my kind of personal feeling of it.
i was reading on the net and i see this phrase and somehow i got special feeling ,my body cell are wanting to get ready for training again "Train both Internal and External.
External training includes the hands, the eyes, the body and stances.
Internal training includes the heart, the spirit, the mind, breathing and strength" it makes me rem how hard i use to train and i were to give up now it will be all washing down the drain effort..
i have my on way of martial art (武德) use it only for my love one and when my life are endanger unless it shall not be use as violent to subdue people..
i want to go back training but i dun really know how should i start to tell me shi fu and shi jie,
i afraid they have already given up on me.
i m really having mixed emotional now, i hate to have to console myself as it appear to be lying to myself ,telling myself to look on the bright side those are jus motivating words it not so easy as said and really to do it..

i m learning to stand up myself whenever i falls..

past is the history,
future is mystery,
now is the gift,
that why it is call the present,

learning to live in the present and being a better person.!!